This page tells you about:

1. How to file for a divorce
2. Temporary Orders for child or spousal support, emergency child custody or visitation, or restraining orders
3. Mediation and collaborative law
4. Children and divorce
5. How to finish your divorce
6. How to dismiss your case
   

And how to get copies of your divorce case (decree).

If you would like to see information about a particular case or find out about a hearing date, visit our Case Info website . However, you will not be able to look up information about certain cases that are confidential, including cases involving adoptions, mental health issues and custody petitions for parents who have not married.

1. How to file for a divorce
   
   Divorce (also called "dissolution") can be complicated. We encourage you to talk to a family law lawyer so you will know about your legal rights and the legal issues in your case. This section gives you information on:
    
   • Options for handling your divorce case
   • Referral Resources
   • Forms
   • Fees

   See a diagram/flowchart of the Family Law process.

   • Options for handling your divorce case
     
     
     • Ask a lawyer to help you. You can look for a lawyer in the phone book or call the Lawyer Referral Service of the Santa Clara County Bar Association . Many lawyers have reasonable fees for your first consultation. (See Referral Resources, below.)
     • Do it yourself.You can buy self-help divorce books and legal forms at book stores, stationery stores or printing companies. Most of the books have all the forms you need. Remember: The forms change often. You must use the most current forms.
     • Download forms from the internet.
     • Review the Local Family Forms and Local Family Rules fo Court for Santa Clara County.
     • Get a Self-help Divorce Book.
     • Review the California Family Code .
     • Also, review the Divorce section of the California Courts Self-Help Center .
     • Contact the Self-Help Center/ Family Law Facilitator Office. You can receive help there, and fliers with information do-it-yourself legal resources for people who are handling their own divorces. They can also help you fill out your forms.
       
       
   • Referral Resources:
     
     We cannot recommend a lawyer. But, here are resources to help you find a lawyer for your case.
     
     
     • Look for a lawyer in the phone book, on the web or call the Lawyer Referral Service of the Santa Clara County Bar Association 
     • Call organizations on our Family Resource List
   • Forms:
     
     Divorce can be a complicated process. What forms you need depends on if you and your husband/wife agree or not. Here are links to the forms you may need: All of the state forms are available from the Judicial Council website . Choose the "Family Law - Dissolution/Legal Separation/Annulment" option on that page from the dropdown box.
     

     
     Judgment checklists are required for uncontested Family Law Judgment packets. Check out the Mandatory Family Law Judgment Checklist . This will help you turn in the right forms to get a judgment in your divorce case.
     

   • Fees:
     
     You will have to pay fees to file your forms with the Clerk's Office. See filing fees on the local fee schedule . If your income is low you can apply to not pay the fees. See the fee waiver information page.

2. Court Orders
   
   Click on the following links for help getting court orders:
   • child support
   • child custody or visitation
   • restraining orders

   You can also visit the Self-Help Center/Family Law Facilitator Office.

3. Mediation and Collaborative Law Mediation:
   
   Mediation
   
   If you and your spouse have an agreement or think you can come to an agreement about some or all of the issues in your case, consider mediation. Mediation is voluntary. A neutral person (called a mediator) helps the parties come to an agreement on the issues in your case.

   
   Advantages of mediation

   • You and your spouse control the pace of the process
   • Your case is confidential
   • Your agreement is more likely to reflect a compromise
   • Your agreement can deal with your specific needs and concerns
   • There is little court involvement, and
   • People are more likely to follow the terms of a mediated agreement than a court-imposed order.

   There are free mediation services in Family Court:

   • To mediate about Custody and Visitation you can work with a mediator from Family Court Services.
   • To mediate about your property, child support or spousal support you can work with the Court’s Settlement Officer.

   You can also hire a private mediator. There is a fee to do private mediation. See the list of family mediators on the Family Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) page on this website. You can also look up "Attorneys-Mediation" in the yellow pages of your phone book. or contact the Santa Clara County Bar Association.
   
   Collaborative Law
   
   Collaborative law is another way of resolving your divorce without going to court. It is similar to mediation, but each party has a lawyer. Everyone agrees not to go to court except in the case of certain kinds of emergencies. If you are interested in this approach, contact the Santa Clara County Bar Association and ask for the collaborative law panel.

4. Children and divorce
   
   Research tells us that children of separated or divorced parents do better if both parents stay actively involved in their children's lives. Remember: Conflict is not good for your children. The way you and the other parent act affects them. The more you and the other parent can deal with each other without conflict, the better it will be for your children. Here are some suggestions:
    
   • Tell your children about the separation together, if possible.
   • Answer your children's questions honestly, but avoid saying things they don’t need to know.
   • Reassure your children that they are not to blame for the separation.
   • Tell your children you and the other parent loves them very much and will take care of them.
   • Include the other parent in school and other activities.
   • Encourage a relationship between the children and the other parent.
   • Be consistent and be on time to pick up and return the children.
   • Develop a parenting plan that gives your children time and access to both parents.
   • Try to never cancel plans with your children.
   • Make two homes for your children with two fully involved parents.
   • Encourage your children to have a loving, satisfying relationship with the other parent.

   Here are some things to avoid. Please do NOT:

   • Ask your children for information about the other parent.
   • Try to control the other parent.
   • Use your children to carry messages back and forth.
   • Argue in front of the children.
   • Discuss child support issues with the children.
   • Speak negatively about the other parent.
   • Put your children in the position of having to take sides.
   • Use your children to hurt the other parent.
5. How to finish your divorce, legal separation, or annulment
   
   AVOID REJECTED JUDGMENT FORMS! Check out the Family Law Judgment Checklist  or Family Law Parentage Judgment Checklist . This will help you turn in the right forms to get a judgment in your family law case (divorce, parentage, etc.)
   
   

   Declarations of Disclosure
   
   The law says you must give your husband or wife information about your income, expenses, things you own and money you owe (even if you do not own anything or owe any money!). This is called “disclosure.”
   
   The first disclosure you make is called the “Preliminary Declaration of Disclosure.” You have to do this before you can finish your divorce, legal separation, or annulment . Sometimes you also have to make a second, final disclosure You must complete and file the necessary court forms to get your divorce judgment. This does not happen automatically.
   
   Laws about Legal Separation and Annulment are different from Divorce laws. Please talk to a lawyer or contact the Self-Help Center/Family Law Facilitator for help. You can get a judgment by:  

   • default (when the other party does not respond),
   • written agreement, or
   • trial

   Remember: You cannot get divorced just by filing a Motion. Most divorce cases fall into one of these categories:

   Default: If the other party does not answer the court papers ("defaults"), then you can get a default judgment:

   • Talk with a lawyer or
   • Read a Self-Help book about what you need to do next, or
   • Visit the Self-Help Center/Family Law Facilitator Office.

   Written agreement: If you and your husband or wife have an agreement on all issues in your divorce (uncontested), you can write up and file your agreement by:

   • Hiring a lawyer to write it up for you, or
   • Reading a Self-Help book, or
   • Visiting the Self-Help Center/Family Law Facilitator Office.

   Trial (contested divorce, legal separation, or annulment):
   
   Sometimes it is not possible to come to an agreement with your husband/wife. There may be issues you disagree on, or your husband/wife may refuse to finalize the divorce.
   
   If you cannot come to an agreement outside of court, a judge will decide the issues in your case at a trial. If this is your case, you should talk to a lawyer.
   
   A family law attorney can tell you about important legal rights and may be able represent you in trial, if you want.. Know your rights before you finish your divorce or you may lose those rights forever.

   Here are the steps you need to take to finish your contested divorce:

   Step 1: "Request for Trial": Fill out and file the Request for Trial  form. Have someone (who is at least 18 and not involved in your case) mail a copy of the Request for Trial  form to your husband/wife (or their lawyer). The person who mails the form must then sign the Proof of Service by Mail on the back of the Request for Trial  form and give the form back to you.
   
   Step 2: File your Request and get a court date: Take your Request for Trial  form to the Clerk's Office at the Family Courthouse or Notre Dame Courthouse. They will mail you and your husband/wife a notice with a court date. You and your husband/wife must go to court on that date for a Case Management Conference.
   
   Before coming to Court, fill out a Case Management Conference Questionnaire . You must bring the original form and 2 copies to the Clerk’s Office at least 5 days before the Conference and file it. You must also serve your husband/wife at least 5 days before the Conference and file a Proof of Service by Mail  showing you had them served.
   
   Step 3: Your "Case Management Conference": The Case Management Conference will be a chance to tell your Judge which issues you have settled and which issues you still do not agree about. The judge may send you and your husband/wife to mediation or a "Settlement Officer Conference". (Go to the Process page with overview diagram of the case flow).
   
   The judge may also send you to the Early Neutral Evaluation (ENE) Program . The ENE program has volunteer lawyers who meet with husbands and wives who do not have their own lawyers and who disagree about how to divide their property.

   
   Step 4: Mandatory Settlement Conference If the Judge sends you to a Mandatory Settlement Conference, you must prepare a Settlement Conference Statement. This statement gives a detailed and thoroughly documented explanation of your issue(s). You must type this pleading in proper legal form. See Local Family Rule 6 to make sure you do it correctly. There is no standard or Judicial Council form available for this.
   
   When you go to your Mandatory Settlement Conference, a Judge Pro Tempore will work with you to settle your case. You may be able to reach a full agreement that day.
   
   If your case is one of the very few that goes to trial, your Judge will tell you which issues will be heard at trial, how long you will get to present your case, and which witnesses will be allowed. You must follow the trial policies of the department where your trial is scheduled.
   
   Step 5: Judgment: Whether you come to an agreement outside of court, at one of the court proceedings, or if your case is heard and decided by a Judge, you must prepare the following documents:  

   • a Judgment (Form FL-180 )
   • Attachments to the Judgment (on court forms or pleading paper that contain the orders for custody and visitation, child support, spousal support, property division, and attorneys fees, if any)
   • Notice of Entry of Judgment (Form FL-190 )
   • 2 addressed, stamped envelopes with the Court's return address. One will have your address; the other will have your spouse’s address.

   For help with these forms, go to the Self-Help Center/Family Law Facilitator Office, or read the Self-Help books listed above. After you prepare your documents, make copies for your records and file them with the County Clerk.

6. How to dismiss your case
   
   

   Read the flyer called How to Dismiss Your Case . The flyer has links to the state forms you will need. Click on the links to access the forms.

Also see Frequently Asked Questions about divorce cases.